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Q. When my child became a senior,
I think there are times when I am bullied by my friends in the classroom.
Every time I show that, I get upset and flustered as a mother.
How can I help you deal with this?
A. If you have made a lot of friends in the lower grades, social relationships deepen as the grade goes up, and children naturally form groups and form best-friend relationships with friends with similar minds and tendencies. Grouping is particularly noticeable among female students, and girls who have faster emotional maturity than male students tend to gain a sense of stability and belonging within small groups that match their interests or tastes. This is a natural process for children to grow up, and it is also an important socialization process in which interests gradually shift from parents to peer groups and form self-identity through friendships. At this time, establishing healthy relationships within the group you belong to has a great influence on building the right self-esteem and confidence in interpersonal relationships.
As friendship narrows and strengthens, various conflict situations arise in it, especially bullying problems in higher grades can leave irreversible scars on children, so parents need to pay attention. Children during this period use negative methods such as bullying to relieve internal emotions such as excessive dependence on friends, possessiveness, and jealousy, as well as external factors such as lack of affection and academic stress.
If a child is bullied, he or she will have a different behavior than usual, such as having a hard time in school, becoming lethargic, and falling grades due to the loss of everything. If you have maintained a close relationship with your parents, you can talk to your parents first and ask for help. However, children who are bullied cannot easily inform themselves of the damage for a variety of reasons, such as the wrong idea that there may be all the causes, fear of retaliation, and reluctance to snitch. Therefore, parents should be interested in their children’s behavior and actively intervene in case of abnormal signs to solve the problem.
If parents can see that the child is excessively affected within their group of friends, from then on, you should observe and watch very carefully to see if it leads to the perpetrator or victim of the bullying problem. If the group’s personality is unhealthy and flows in the direction of hurting each other, you may want your child to come out of the group, but the sense of belonging and bond is nothing but everything to girls during this period. In the eyes of parents, it seems to be a trivial problem, so if you think of your child’s worries as pathetic or lightly dismiss them, you will start to get disconnected from your child. Even if one of the two legs that support the child’s world is in a friend relationship, always open your ears to the child so that the other can be kept in the family.