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The technique of reconciliation between couples based on situations.
Situation 1. How to apologize when you do something wrong or say sorry.
First of all, I admit that I did inappropriate actions and words. If you make excuses even though you know you did something wrong, you make your spouse more angry. “I’m sorry. I made you angry with those actions and words. I’ll be careful from next time,” he says. The feeling of sorry and empathy that it deserves to be angry quickly eliminates the conflict.
Situation 2. How to make up for a fight caused by a difference in position and not being able to make up with each other’s mistakes.
In this case, you need time to think. Mr. and Mrs. Min Ok-ki, a counselor for the couple, says, “It is better to suggest a timeout to take a short break and think about it for even five minutes.”
Situation 3. How to end the Cold War if the Cold War is old.
I take courage with the feeling that losing is winning. “Are you back?” “Let’s eat!”Let’s open the door for reconciliation with everyday words like this. If your mouth doesn’t drop, I recommend a message saying, “Shall we go on a date tonight?”
Situation 4. How to make up when you fight in front of your children.
It adheres to the principle of “If you fought in front of your children, you can also show how to reconcile.” If they act casually the next day without showing signs of reconciliation, their children may become indifferent to their parents’ behavior and their respect for their parents may disappear. Don’t attack each other again or make excuses, admit your mistakes and apologize sincerely. In addition, you should reassure your child by saying, “I’m sorry I couldn’t show you good performance due to conflicts of opinion,” and “I made up, so don’t worry.”
If you want to make up…Don’t force us to make up!
If your spouse does not relieve anger even though you said or acted to make up, think about whether you made up properly. “You’re like this, so I was like this.” I’m sorry.’ You can’t apologize like that. This is why you are angry. You need a conscious approach.
Min Ok-ki, a counsellor of the couple, advises, “If anyone is angry or angry, it is not comfortable, so if your spouse admits and apologizes with a true heart, most of them accept it,” and “If you do something wrong, you should not hesitate to apologize and make up right away.” However, you should not force them to forgive you for apologizing even though you hurt them.
There are also actions that should not be done when reconciling. You should say sorry to your angry spouse and not try to ignore it like a joke or be sarcastic.
To accept reconciliation… Make up for me!
If you have received an apology, you should know that forgiveness is actually for you, not for you. It’s not good for me to keep living with a heavy heart. If you think, “I don’t do that, but what’s wrong with my spouse?” you can’t forgive me comfortably. If you think, “It could be like that,” it becomes easier to forgive. Let’s keep in mind that if you pretend you can’t win anything, your spouse will be on my side forever.
“TIP. Reconciliation is not the end!” “Things to Do After Reconciliation”.
1. If you decide to believe, I will really believe you.
2. Try not to repeat the mistakes that made the fight.
3. Even if they fight over the same thing again, they fight over only the problem, not the other one.
4. If you said something extreme like “Let’s divorce” when you were fighting, don’t just let it go and apologize.
5. Don’t be afraid to show your feelings just because you fought, and express your honest feelings from time to time.